urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique slow down slow down 2006-04-13T19:32:35Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:10369 2006-04-13T19:32:35Z 2006-04-13T19:32:35Z my little hole here has allowed me to be secluded, but to do things, and to really enjoy myself. to put shit in perspective and to be away from everything enough to know that what once was my life is just now a part of the growing i've done. it's probably a bit dramatic to call it the dialectic, but it's similar, albeit a little less based in the idea of opposition.<br /><br />every day, i am always a new thing. <br /><br />ain't that some hippie bullshit right there.<br /><br />i eat eggs that were pulled from a hen's nest no longer than two days before they're passed along my way. i'm about to pick up another dozen that will probably be from last night or early early this morning. i'm sad to leave it, because it will take awhile before i know where to come across these things in the biggest city. <br /><br />i make lots of sandwiches, and bike six miles 4 or 5 times a week. there are extended plans to tour southern italy with my good friend. you know who i mean, but i can't give him *those names* or whatever. that's just awkward.<br /><br />i like nice things, and i try to take care of them. it's a process that requires some getting used to.<br /><br />i plan to be in a rompers only bike gang. hopefully with some sort of gun i can swing from my shoulder like they do in the dominican republic.<br /><br />by the end of the summer, i need to do the following:<br /><br />restore an old schwinn cruiser<br /><br />write a number of letters<br /><br />hopefully take a few deep breaths in the company of long distance friends<br /><br />start connecting.contacting.communicating across state lines, county lines for that matter<br /><br /><br />i leave some time in july, and everything will be different, but it may just be the place to allow me to be as big as i feel all the time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:10031 2005-11-27T20:34:18Z 2005-11-27T20:34:18Z my latest day dream is critical legal theory, though that might just be bootlegged by a social justice (and law) program in new york that pays your way through if you agree to work for five years. i could do some inter-department/inter-disciplinary and be set? perhaps, perhaps.<br /><br />chomping at the bit, really, ready to get my gums on some tangible and interesting future that may be so easily satisfied as a dr. d's (hot lemon ginger drink from the local cafe) and a bit of reading back in batailles after a few months break. (could also be finally taking the gre and maybe the lsat, finding a new town to pretend i'll fully utillize next year, or taking a backpack and my lifesavings to some european countryside and saying fuckitall.)<br /><br />the tiniest things seem to be sending my body in to months-long downward spirals and i'm pretty sure i'm not a little allergic to this town. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:9789 2005-11-16T20:46:26Z 2005-11-16T20:46:26Z i've taken to neglecting secondary needs (interneting) for the primary (hanging with sweetness, baking, work, etc.) i don't regret it though there are a thousand things i need to do (mostly find a plane ticket home for the holidays, train ticket to nh for other days... one that i can afford at least). the holiday period will look like snow to sun to snow to tundra.<br /><br />it snowed today, i'll say this morning because, even though we woke up at eleven, we weren't out of bed until two. jumped up and down, called c. who took a break just to appreciate it all with me (i like us this way, finally).<br /><br />i'm happy, time to clean, time to finally finish the books i've had on loan for weeks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:9555 2005-10-24T22:32:45Z 2005-10-24T22:32:45Z jah & meio:<br /><br />i've been reading "what's my name, fool?: sports and resistance in the united states" by dave zirin. i think the both of you would appreciate it, and perhaps, jah, you can read it when you're living in the spare room/guest house/dj lounge in my house.<br /><br />it alternates between the historiography and editorial which can be good or bad depending, but we should all finish it and then discuss. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:9340 2005-10-17T19:30:50Z 2005-10-17T19:31:12Z "there is in the temporality of words an almost poetic play of death and rebirth: successive metaphorizations mean that an idea becomes more - and something other - than itself: a 'form of thought'. for language things, thinks us and thinks for us at least as much as we think through it."<br /><br />and <br /><br />"there were also reasons linked to the time we were living through: in the 1960s, the transition from the primacy of productionto the primacy of consumption brought objects to the fore. what really interested me, however, was not so much the manufactured object in itself, but how objects spoke to each other - the system of signs and the syntax they developed. and, particularly the fact that they referred to a world less real than the apparent omnipotence of consumption and profit might have led us to believe. as i saw it, in that world of signs, they very quickly broke away from their use-value to enter into play and correspondence with one another."<br /><br />i fall into the (somewhat relativism-inducing) trap of structuralist thought sometimes and forget the subtleties and beauty that keep me interested in theory to begin with.<br /><br />i have a partner who is not simply a boyfriend renamed. the l-word gets caught in the back of my throat because this is something entirely different. i breathe on my own accord, and i feel more wholly comfortable with some one than i ever have.<br /><br />i live in a new apartment, where a speckled brown and black cat named switchblade used to live. he sneaks in whenever he has the chance, but is cuddly and playful and warm. to suit our sensibilities, said cat has been renamed meowsington purr, which may prove to be a creepy artifact for our neighbors who call him their own. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:9004 2005-10-05T18:12:45Z 2005-10-05T18:12:45Z 20 years ago I... (1985)<br />1. moved to orlando (lockhart)<br />2. was three years old<br />3. tried on my brother's high school football jersey and pads<br /><br />10 years ago I... (1995)<br />1. weighed more than i do now<br />2. watched my dad go through a quadruple bypass<br />3. first started listening to ska <br /><br />5 years ago I... (2000)<br />1. worked at the info shop in sarasota<br />2. pulled a lot of hijinx mostly involving my dad's minivan and thousands of miles<br />3. called JEB out on some terribly educational funding legislation in front of four hundred other high school girls<br /><br />3 years ago I... (2002)<br />1. haha, broke up with my fiance<br />2. lived in a retirement city-community <br />3. lived through my first real spring, complete with tornados of cherry blossoms and days where you started out wearing a tshirt and left class/work to face a blizzard<br /><br />1 year ago I... (2004)<br />1. graduated from college<br />2. went on a one-week tour in vegetable oil powered vehicle<br />3. baked mad vegan treats five days a week/perfected vegan tiramisu<br /><br />So far this year I... (2005)<br />1. went to bolivia<br />2. lived in three different cities<br />3. established a legitimate & healthy relationship with another human being<br /><br />Yesterday I...<br />1. baked 200-300 cookies<br />2. walked three miles<br />3. played apples to apples for the first time<br /><br />Today I...<br />1. woke up at 9 am<br />2. went to the quarries and took pictures of my pals<br />3. will make scrambled eggs and buy new underwears and hang out with cory<br /><br />Tomorrow I will...<br />1. wake up at 5 am to be at work at 7 am, after a long bike ride<br />2. take a nap when i get off of work at 3 pm<br />3. clean my room (?)<br /><br />In the next year I will...<br />1. move into a new house and live with my partner<br />2. be in one or more musical projects that cover at the gates "slaughter of the soul" (a la the propagandhi cover)<br />3. learn how to mix records urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:8859 2005-09-24T14:55:02Z 2005-09-24T14:55:02Z in the next few days, i get to see my lady love from four years ago, play a show, and spend some time with the ol' sweet sweet.<br /><br />pumped! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:8693 2005-09-20T15:56:25Z 2005-09-20T15:56:25Z faith is something that i've swallowed up like a little pill - an unspeakable something that sits in the pit of my stomach and weighs me down, otherwise i might drift away (but not in that lovely, floating manner.)<br /><br />g. considers me her intellectual friend, though we haven't had the chance to sit down face to face since i left c. (three years as of the first of may.) it's funny to think how radically i've change, and how radically i've remained the same this whole time. hopefully, i'll see her next week, just have d. drive me to her town and will run through it with a fine-toothed comb. maybe she can see me play a few songs. we'll just laugh and i won't know what to say, at all, at all.<br /><br />also, it's been brought to my attention that, as j. pointed out around the time i left for this new place, most of my conversations, especially with people i don't know, are predicated on internal monologues and truly inside jokes that won't everever come across. oops. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:8202 2005-09-18T20:06:12Z 2005-09-18T20:06:12Z my body has begun to petition against the rest of me.<br /><br />i need a doctor. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:8191 2005-09-14T02:17:01Z 2005-09-14T02:17:01Z - i'm not very comfortable with or interested in the sort of forum livejournal provides.<br />- anyway, the only things i have to write are that i'm completely enamored with a town and a person; my only complaint is that this person is not in this town.<br />- i may be playing a show in cleveland at the end of the month. <br />- xiu xiu was lovely last night.<br />- i don't want to write in livejournal anymore. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:7893 2005-09-12T00:49:02Z 2005-09-12T00:49:02Z i wake up every morning and feel amazing living where i do. love sits like a pit in my stomach, and i think i'll be here for the next three years or so. it also feels amazing to feel like i could stick around, or to at least have no other place where i'd rather be (well, perhaps a place, but not a location, if you know what i'm saying.) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:7327 2005-09-01T01:54:21Z 2005-09-01T01:54:21Z i spent the last week and an half with something so great, doing things i've never done before (mostly revolving around not playing the role of architect.)<br /><br />on sunday, i was almost served a japanese beer made from pears and lotus blossoms by some one who was in the band sleep. i totally flipped. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:6933 2005-08-19T05:08:59Z 2005-08-19T05:08:59Z i'm a baker, possibly twice over - what will this say for that other dreadful thing (which may have already started)?<br /><br />also:<br /><br />dear q,<br /><br />i'm sorry. you definitely have the right to be annoyed, but definitely not angry. i want you home, i want you healthy.<br /><br />love and just short of that last one millionth. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:6819 2005-08-15T20:09:44Z 2005-08-15T20:09:44Z x- you surprise me when (i need you) to. i wish you knew.<br /><br />it's been two years building up: i still hope to become a baker, i still hope to fall in love. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:6504 2005-08-15T03:41:10Z 2005-08-15T03:41:10Z we're moving too much to be a single body. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:6265 2005-08-12T23:01:09Z 2005-08-12T23:01:09Z abstract - totally rejected. oops. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:6067 2005-08-11T22:55:49Z 2005-08-11T22:55:49Z - love my new town<br />- love my new love<br />- hate the internet<br /><br />sorry, i do not know how to do the cut thing or whatever it is. you don't really have to read it unless you're in panama (if you're this person, i miss you soooooo much) or your name is dakota b.<br /><br />this is what d. and i sat down and wrote in a matter of four hours on saturday, august 6th, the day the stupid thing was due. it's okay, but it could be better. here's to fingers crossed and getting a little (okay, maybe seriously) turned on by critical theory.<br /><br />oh yeah, the title is a joke, and kind of an embarrassing one at that.<br /><br /><br />Between Resistance & Commodity: Punk Expression, Capitalism & Time<br /><br />Capitalism, as a living, breathing, ever-centralizing mechanism, is dependent upon subjecting material resources to its projected end of production and acquisition. In the oppressive if not violent process of molding the social perception of the value of resource, the mechanism has managed to shape the understanding of time into that of a commodified value. Time is for working, for producing, for investing, and for channeling all resources towards procuring and guarding what has been and what will be acquired. The mechanism’s single-minded goal requires the reduction of these resources, especially time, to a linear model whose flow directs resources into a current moving towards the designed end of centralized wealth. <br /><br />By enforcing such a totalitarian hold on the expense of resource, capitalism manages to stifle creative activity that attempts to manifest itself beyond the linear model, essentially disenfranchising those people whose ends are not those of production or acquisition. <br /><br />We are approaching punk expression, its art, literature, music and culture as a continual struggle against the capitalist current, a series of recurring attempts to break from the linear model. In a system as directed and as mechanical as capitalism, the human element is easily overlooked but not entirely lost; punk expression is an attempt to reclaim the power to determine value and the power to direct the flow of resources to that of the human rather than the productive end. <br /><br />Speaking with a number of people involved with the various aspects of punk expression (writers, illustrators, musicians, as well as hybrids and mixtures thereof), and engaging with and extrapolating chiefly from the texts of Batailles and Morson, we will critically examine the notion of punk expression’s attempts to break from capitalist time as the manifestation of radical contingency within the directed flow of the linear model. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:5684 2005-08-04T04:45:24Z 2005-08-04T04:45:24Z new town is awesome town. room mates are awesome mates. <br /><br />awesome friends, well, there's no need to qualify that. (patches, physical challenge and i hung out for something like eleven hours yesterday, hot cory on quarry action, bike rides and cable tee vee.)<br /><br />sunshine on my gosh-darn shoulders d.p. is coming tomorrow, and we'll be tearing the midwest apart.<br /><br />dee bee, however, has yet to make her plans with me. em and ay and little monk on sunday? yes? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:5463 2005-07-31T01:59:48Z 2005-07-31T01:59:48Z <a href="http://www.myspace.com/theholyfiregleeclubinc">http://www.myspace.com/theholyfiregleeclubinc</a><br /><br />as soon as songs are available, they will be posted for all of you sweet things to hear.<br /><br />thank goodness that time deadline was extended, otherwise i'd be in hot water.<br /><br />thanks, also, to my nephew b. who said "yeah, m, space-alien tickle-monsters need their coffee breaks". urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:5371 2005-07-29T21:50:59Z 2005-07-29T21:50:59Z dear phoney mcgee:<br /><br />thanks for being my best pal. i kind of feel like leaving means i'm taking our friendship for granted, but i'm also pretty sure that at least you know that's all in my head. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:4983 2005-07-24T16:18:46Z 2005-07-24T16:18:46Z i'm more than happy to leave this town behind, but this is not without knowing the potential these kids have. there are friendships that will be started, kept and maintained over random visits between towns, and i have to admit that i was a little (okay, really) flattered to hear k. tell me that r. thinks so highly of me, and to hear m. say that my new town isn't all that far away, though it really is. <br /><br />and aside from that, to continue to run into n. after all these years, for d. to continually catch me off guard, and to just spend time with j. who is just so brilliant, and really for b. to call me just to calm down and talk about drawls and drama (and yeah, that best pal crush is totally mutual)...<br /><br />my insides bubble up and over. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:4682 2005-07-20T18:22:55Z 2005-07-20T18:22:55Z i had a crazy day yesterday that involved spiders, the emergency room, and getting fired from one of my two jobs. and talking on the telephone to a phoney-named charmer who i have yet to meet, but have known and loved for years.<br /><br />in other news, i come to appreciate all the mistakes i've made, and my "fly by the seat of my pants" attitude, which have brought me to an understanding that life is fluid and beautiful and sad and lovely. <br /><br />i'm currently working on reducing my time idea a bit. how do you reduce a grand scale to a single example? how do you connect capitalist ideology and fascism which, in strict definitions, are opposed, or at least significantly different? <br /><br />i have to admit, i haven't seriously worked on the project in days. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:4254 2005-07-15T19:55:18Z 2005-07-15T19:55:18Z to do list:<br /><br />- send letter and questions to potential author interview <br />- send the psychological structure of fascism to magic dee<br />- write abstract<br />- talk to dakota bee(!)<br />- miss and think about logi.callie<br />- daydream about meeting little monk<br />- spend my last few days with friends and not holed up in my apartment like i have been urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:4038 2005-07-11T20:04:44Z 2005-07-11T20:09:25Z hopefully i'll be recording a few songs before i leave this town. playing with b. and r. has been too amazing for me not to document and share with everyone. <br /><br />as i mentioned in a letter not yet sent, i've been thinking about certain things instead of sharing them so that they melt into my brain and body and become a part of me, instead of escaping through my mouth or a pen. they're inexpressible, short of my wide-eyed smile and giggle one-two combo. <br /><br />i have this stupid grin the entire time we play together (especially now that r. has a lovely pale yellow electic guitar that's older than any of us and tries to add bluesy and/or grunge parts to everything). i feel stupid, but i think r. understands, at least. when he catches my grin, he laughs, too, so i don't feel so strange.<br /><br />other things:<br />- i'm just short of entirely prepared to finish the time-abstract, submit it, and sit back for a second and hope for good news from u.mn. i just want to talk to d. and c. about it before i say it's done. if you'd like, i'll post it.<br />- barbecue tofu/seitan & spinach-curry mashed potato sandwiches are my food of choice, though i think for these next two weeks (my last in this town!), i'll be eating too cheaply to make them with such frequency (it's what i ate once a day for the last two weeks!)<br />- a particular and very dear friendship has proved rather resilient despite all doubts.<br />- s. and i are making a mix tape together by sending it back and forth across the states. it sounds so good so far - i'll be adding song four tonight or tomorrow and sending it back with a belated birthday present, coloring-book style portrait of s. from my trip up north back in november.<br />- i'm being tickled from the insides with all the warmth in the projects and relationships i've been or am beginning to build (or have been building without realizing until just now when they sweep me off my feet all unexpectedly) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:micropolitique:3799 2005-07-03T14:46:47Z 2005-07-03T14:46:47Z this time thing is developing wonderfully (sorry that i haven't written you c., i've just been a little lost in my own project. but maybe you kind find something/some people where you are. make it even more banal which would drive the point a little more forcefully?) i have one interview officially agreed to, affirmation of the idea from one source of a sort collective other-interview, and then a promise for an address and letter of recommendation to another super-mega-golly-wouldn't-that-be-nice interview that i don't really want to discuss until i can be a little more certain about whether it will or won't happen. basically, i'm choosing an artist (female), a band (mixed sex), and an author/writer/storyteller (hopefully male) to discuss the specifics of resource expenditure, art, personal meaning, and culture significance (gendered time? that would be fancy, also ethnicity, class issues, etc).<br /><br />basically, i'm saying that the investments made into underground/subculture/counterculture arts create violent intersections and diversions with the linear winner-versus-loser-end-to-the-story temporality of capitalism's relative time-fascism. haha, what?